The Chronicles of a Raving Lunatic

I guess it's time. I haven't really felt like updating lately. Or doing anything, really. I just can't get motivated. And I've been getting distracted so easily. I've just been having these crazy mood swings lately. It's from the stupid Prednisone. The Dr. and I were talking about it the other day. He was telling me how he's on 60mg short term and it's giving him crazy mood swings. I realized that why I had a REALLY depressive day like, a week and a half ago. I just wanted to stop taking all my medications and just go to sleep and just sleep for days. And the day I went to the Dr, I was fine in the morning. I was actually in a decent mood. By late afternoon/evening I was just in a terrible mood. And it didn't help that people kept getting on me about all kinds of stuff. Not that they really knew I was in a bad mood, but that's not the point. They shouldn't have been acting the way they did in the first place.
( cut for length and depressive crap )
Also, I've actually been reading lately. As far as my challenges go, I've got most of the V.C. Andrews books read. I'm going to slip "The Time Travelers Wife" in there next, though. I want to watch the movie first. The way I see it, if I read the book first, I'll ruin the movie for myself. If I watch the movie, I'll just find there book that much better. I really wish i was feeling more up to doing things and wasn't getting so distracted all the time so I could fly through books like I was at the end of last year. Hopefully that will get better as I wean off the steroids.

I keep trying to work on that Conan smut I started a couple weeks ago, but I keep getting distracted. I'll open it up and then I'll go check my mail and then I'll end up on Facebook, then here, and never get to it before I go to bed. It's starting to annoy me. But watch, tomorrow night I'll open it up and not be able to write anything either.

I also need to write some non-smut. Seriously. I feel bad for anyone on my F-list that doesn't like smut (how many of you are there, anyway?), so can't read any of the stuff I write. Not that I think I'm a great writer or anything. I do have one story I've been wanting to write for years. I have some rough character sketches and a general outline for it in my head, but I've never been able to start it. I may have to just write scenes randomly and fill it in.

Anyway, that's about all I can think of and make myself do. I'm honestly going to try to be a little more present around here. We'll see how it goes.

Let's do this one a little differently and see how it works out...



Okay, let's see. I've read 50/64 of the V.C. Andrews books. 2-3 weeks of books left to read and about a month and a half left of the year. I think I made pretty good time. And speaking of books, I am dingy. When I went to my appointment, I took the last two books I had just finished so I could take them back and pick up the next 9. I got there and turned off the car and then realized, "It's noon and there are only 2 cars here... *facepalm* It's Veteran's Day! They're closed today." So I had to drive around the block to drop the books in the after-hours drop box.


Like I said before, the Dr. doubled my MTX from 6.25mg to 12.5mg. It was such a small dose before I really didn't feel it, but this time It really stung and actually kind of hurt for a few minutes. It's so thick, too. I am definitely NOT looking forward to getting these shots now every week. *meep* With the increase, he's hoping I see some improvement quicker. Haven't seen any yet. Most people seem to say it takes about 12 weeks to see any real results, so I'm about halfway there.
Also, since I got back on my Prednisone (didn't have the money to get it for a couple weeks), I feel a little better. Pain has already gone down a tiny bit. Hopefully in a few more days it will be even better. I need to get a refill as soon as dad gets paid, though.


Also, as I said before, Corie has Mono. Still can't figure out where she got it, but she does. So, I'll be here a few days to help out until the fatigue starts wearing off a bit and she feels up to it. The kids seem like they should be okay. They haven't been too bad lately. We'll see after a few days.


As I said in my mini!post, I've been around (quite a bit, actually), but I just haven't really felt up to posting. There have been so many things I've wanted to say/rant about, but I just didn't feel it. I've been reading and commenting when I had something to say, so I haven't been ignoring you all. Just been kind of blah lately. I think I've been mostly tired.




I wish I had steady internet access/a reliable computer. I kind of wish I was taking part in NaNo. Can you believe I've never NaNo'd? Oh, well. One of these years, I guess. I just want to work on something. I have a couple things I need to finish (anyone remember me mentioning a certain George/Ringo Slash I wanted to write? Well I started it shortly after that, but then got quite stuck. A few weeks ago, I nearly doubled it in length, but it needs more. I just need to figure out a couple transitions and details and I should be able to finish it. Plus, that Kirill-Hans story I mentioned forever and a half ago over at VFB. I have that thing a little over half done and need to finish it, as well. AND I need to finish that Karl/Anita story. *headdesk* So much to write, but not quite enough muse to go around. And nowhere to keep it all in one place. And, and, and...


Okay. I think I'm done for now. Let's see how this post looks when it's posted. Just wanted to do something a little different.

Got my first dose of Methotrexate yesterday. I'll be going in every Tuesday now to get each dose. I wonder how long it will take to start working...

I'm going to try to catch up on things before I go home tonight, but no guarantees. I'll catch up as much as possible anyway.

Also, while I'm waiting for the first couple books in the next series, I got out "The Unabridged Edgar Allan Poe" because my county library is having a Poe month for October since this year is the bicentenial of his birth. I've already read about 1/5 of it. And it's 1174 pgs. You know, reading Poe with just the sound of a ticking clock is kind of creepy. I kind of don't want to read "The Tell-Tale Heart" at home. LOL

OH! And brother just bought a Wii on Sunday. I played a little of Wii Sports that night before I went home, just to see how it was. I'm awesome at bowling.

*waves* Hello. I know it's been a while and I said I was going to be here last Thursday to check in since I had a Dr. appointment on Friday, but I ended up going to my aunts b/c it was closer to home and dad didn't have the gas to drive all the way out here. Now, how to update... I guess chronologically would be best. If I can keep it that way. lol I'll probably start out chronologically and end up categorizing it instead. And/or switching back and forth.

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I went home on the 15th, right? Well, the power was still on, but I knew, with my luck, it would be off the next day, so I made the chocolate cake we had that night before I went to bed, since I knew it wouldn't need refrigerated, just covered. Dad decided to call it "survival cake". And it has been. Nearly everyday I've eaten a piece or two to keep myself fed. There are still a couple pieces left, though they're starting to get dry. I would have had it gone by now, but Neal brought over ANOTHER cake that needed eaten and I had a few pieces of that, though dad ate more than half of it. I just didn't like the frosting. It was way too sweet for me.

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Okay, so last Friday I had an appointment with the Podiatrist about my toe. He hadn't made it, but my Primary Care Physician wanted me to do a follow up and they're basically through the same office in the clinic. Like my Dr.'s name is on both doors. So I went and told him my toe was mostly healed but it was starting to hurt again. It had been infected once since I had the nail cut out. He looked at it and said that it looked like the skin was just irritated so he trimmed it again. This time without anesthetic. It hurt a bit, as you can imagine. A couple days later it stopped hurting so much. It's still a little tender, but it's alright. Healing up alright for now.

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Pretty much all that weekend and this past week were spent reading. I've been averaging about one book a day. In fact, last Friday and on...Tuesday, I read TWO whole books a day. A few days I read a little more than one a day. So, as you can see I've got 20/64 books read. I have 5 more waiting for me and I've requested 10 more for now. At the rate I'm going, I may be able to get all of them done by the beginning of December. That would be cool. We'll see.

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Oh, and I had sent out my application for Cash assistance/Food Stamps/Medicaid on the 15th or so. I had an appointment for that yesterday. Took in the little bit of paperwork I had that they wanted/needed. She said cash assistance and medicaid were both dependent on my getting SSI. Which doesn't really make any sense to me, but...whatever. She also said the medical would take a while and I need some papers filled out by my Dr., which I'm getting next Friday at my appointment. But I DID get Food Stamps. I got approved for $200/month! That's WAY more than I expected. That will be nice. Right now, we have now power still, but dad's gonna find one of our coolers (or buy a cheap foam on) to clean out and getting some ice so we can at least keep things for a couple of days. Anyway... So, she told me that if/when I get approved for SSI, my balance will change (it'll probably go down to about $100), but that would be totally fine, because I'd have some money to put toward food. She signed the papers and said I qualified for expedited food stamps, so I'd get the card in 7-10 business days. Well, this morning before we were getting ready to leave for here, there was a knock on the door. I went to answer it and no one was there. I thought Neal had maybe knocked on the door and run off, so I was going to step out and see if he was out there, but I looked down and saw a large envelope in front of the door. I picked it up and showed it to dad who asked who it was for. I finally looked at it and saw it was for me. I opened it and found a regular business sized envelope. It was my card. They ended up overnighting it to me. Apparently, I was more serious a case than I thought. lol I called and set it up and I have $306 available to me right now. I can't wait to go get some food. I'm making brother take me to the store so I can grab a few things tomorrow. I really shouldn't be this excited about buying food.

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On the electric front, we couldn't get it turned on like we wanted because it would have cost even more. So, dad is trying to find ways to make money. Hopefully we'll be able to come up with it in a few weeks. Especially since Neal plans on moving into the upstairs bedroom sometime soon. He's supposed to help come up with some of the money.

Also, dad couldn't find the old camp stove, so he had to go buy another one. He picked it up last night, so when I buy food, I can at least buy real food sometimes. It'll mostly been soup and canned pastas like ravioli/spaghetti-o's. But I know that sometime next week I'm going to buy some big, fat, juicy steaks and some onions and mushrooms and...something for the side. Because I want steak for my birthday. There I go again with the food. lol

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Speaking of being fat... I really need to tell the Dr. that I've been having pain again. And I've been having slight headaches for the last week or so. I might leave out the headaches because they're a common side effect, but the pain is getting on my nerves. My back and knees and ankles are just in so much pain lately.

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I know there was more, but I can't think of it right now. I'll be here tomorrow too, so if I think of it, I'll post it.

Stupid internet keeps going out all day today and yesterday.

Anyway, yesterday I had an appointment with the Dr. of Pharmacy at the Dr.s office. It was just so she could ask me questions to see if I was a good candidate. She said she'd look over my charts again and talk with the Dr. and tell him what she thought. If they decide I should be on it, which he sounds pretty certain of, I'll go back in and we'll talk about it in more detail. I have an appointment with the Dr. on October 2nd (Birthday!appointment) when is probably when I'll find out what's going on. I'm sure I'll get my appointment with her shortly after that. So I'll probably start the shots sometime in October.

On the V.C. Andrews Book Challenge front. I've read 9 out of the 64 books. I've got a running tally over here. I'll update it probably once or twice a week, as I finish books. I thought I was going to fall behind the other day because I took, like 4-5 days to read Dark Angel. But then I went and read Fallen Hearts in just a little over 24 hours. Got myself back on track. In a few days I'll have no TV or internet to distract me, so I'll be able to read most of the books in about a day or two. I just may be able to do this. *fingers crossed*

Ugh. This whole electricity thing is just starting to annoy me. I called the electric company to see if, like the gas and phone companies, they'd take the deposit in installments. I was told they don't do that, but they do have a thing where, if you get someone that qualifies to sign as your guarantor, you don't need a deposit. In order for the person to qualify they have to have had electric service with the company for at least 2 years at a different address with no more than 1 late payment. I could only think of 2 people I know that fit that description. My Grandma & Uncle and my Grandpa. Well, my Uncle was out of work for a while and since my Grandma only works part time, things are still a little tight for them. Plus, she would never sign as Guarantor anyway. So I called my Grandpa. Well, I'd talked to my cousin who "warned" me that he's got a power-of-attorney. Well, he's under the false impression that for anything that's connected to anything financial he has to get their permission first. That's not how it works, but, whatever. So he said he'd talk to them (won't tell anyone who it is, but I think it's one of his old boss' "lady friends". For some reason he always thinks very highly of them, even though most of them are, excuse the harsh word, scum. I just get the feeling that it's someone that doesn't know anyone in the family.) and let me know, but to expect a 'no'. He called this morning and confirmed the 'no'. The thing is, I think he wanted to, because he sounded really sorry and kept asking me not to be mad at him. I understand where he's coming from and I'm not mad. I wasn't counting on it and figured it couldn't hurt to ask. I told him all that. But now, I don't know what we're going to do. And the power gets shut off on Monday sometime. I guess we're buying some batteries for the one flashlight/lantern and my CD player, some candles so I can have light at night, a cheap foam cooler for a few food items. And digging out those kerosene lamps and the camp stove. [sarcasm]Indoor camping! Woo![/sarcasm]

But at least, even if we still have no power when it gets cold, we have a propane heater that's strong enough to heat the whole house that wed won't need power for. So, even though we'll be in the dark, we'll be warm. :)

That's all I can think of right this second.

I have made a decision. The other day, I decided that I'm going to read ALL the V.C. Andrews books. My goal is to get them all read by the end of the year. If I keep reading them at the rate I have been, I should easily be able to do it. Especially after they move out and I have no internet. I'll have nothing to do all day, anyway. I'll probably see if I can do like I have in the past when I have no net and see if I can go over there once or twice a week to check up on things. Hopefully they'll say I can. We'll see.

Oh. And I was googling my grandpa's name (I really don't know why. I just felt like it) and stumbled on a MySpace of a girl in San Antonio that said her Grandpa, with the same name, had 5 kids, blah, blah, blah. The way she described him just sounded right. She also resembled one of my cousins up here, so I sent her a message telling her I thought we might be related and asked her some stuff. Turns out I was right. Just got a message back from her today telling me, yes, my assumptions were right. She mentioned her mom's name and my dad said, "Yeah!" b/c he couldn't remember if his oldest brother had 5 or 6 kids. So, I sent her a message back. It's so cool to actually know the name of someone down there, besides my uncle and a couple of his kids. I know my dad's been wanting to go down there for a while. The last time we saw my uncle was when he was up here about 5 years ago. And he's getting pretty old. I think he's...like 79 or so. I'd like to go down there and see him sometime before he dies, too. I mean, I've probably only seen him a dozen times in my life. And most of those times I was pretty young. Like, under 10. The last time I was down in San Antonio to see family down there, I was a month old. The only thing is, dad doesn't get his vacation and personal days until next September. He gets vacation soon, but it wouldn't be enough time. Hopefully he'll be able to take the full 2 weeks next year because he also needs to head over to Idaho and get his truck out of storage and send it back over here.

And just because I feel nostalgic, a pic of me when I was in San Antonio last time.

( cut for size )

Went to see an disability Dr yesterday for a breathing test. How ridiculous is this. This Dr was about a 40 min drive from me. I had to ask my Grandma to take me because brother is on second shift again, as is dad. Anywho, it took about 40 min to get there, I filled out the one little paper I had to do. Then I told them the meds I'm currently on, waited a few minutes and got called back. Go to the back and the nurse asks me a couple things, puts a couple things in the little machine and tells me how to use it. Apparently I didn't do it right the first time, so she reset the machine and had me do it again, 3 times total. And that was it. Almost an hour and a half round trip for a 5 min appt.

But on the way back I did stop at the library and pick up my books that were on hold. I got the whole Dollanganger series by V.C. Andrews. I started Flowers In The Attic last night. As of this writing, I'm about halfway through it. By the time I go to sleep I should be at least 2/3 done. I've got all 5 books for a month, so I'm HOPING to average about 4-5 days each book. Probably less on the ones I read over weekends.

Oh. They got a call from the bank and the USDA inspection got done. The house appraised a little higher than what they're paying. Also, they did their inspection and the owner said he was leaving them the lawnmower and all the tools and all kinds of odds and ends their daughter left behind. So now they won't have to buy one. Their closing date, as of now, is September 18th.

Only problem is dad and I have to figure out how to get about $600 by then for a deposit on electricity. He's getting big chunks of money taken out by the Department of Education, so he's going to have to try to figure out some way to come up with it. Grr. I don't know how we're going to do this. AND, we'll be without TV, cable, internet, phone....for quite some time. I need a bit of money to get the internet turned back on in my name. We might be able to swing enough for a converter box or two, so we can at least watch broadcast TV... I guess I'm going to be reading a LOT come September.

Also, I. am. TIRED. I don't really know why, but I got no real sleep last night. I slept, just not well. I have been beat all day today. I almost took a nap early this afternoon, but then Corie said she was taking one. This was just as brother was getting ready to leave for work, so I had to keep an eye on kiddies. I don't think I'll read too long tonight so I can try to get to sleep before 2 or 3.

I wish this bruise on my arm from my B12 shot would go away. It's been a week since I got that thing and I still have a bruise and little lump. :(

I just caught the end of a report last night on CNN about this place. They get donations of new and used books and sell them cheap. Their profits go to help literacy programs around the world. Most of the used books are under $4. All the books have free shipping in the US, $3.97 worldwide. I know next time I want a book I'm going to look here first.

Better World Books

Before anything else, I'd like to wish a (somewhat late) Happy Birthday to Ranger.

Been a long boring week. Though, I have read three books this week. Two just yesterday alone. Over Tuesday and Wednesday (as I mentioned in the last post) I read The Turn of the Screw by Henry James. When I opened it I realized that I was supposed to have read it in H.S. as there were notes about the story written, by me, on the front page. I guess I skipped it b/c as I read it, I certainly didn't remember it. But then, I did that with a lot of our books in English, just listened really well in class and used that stuff for the tests.

Wednesday late, I had started to re-read Star Trek: The New Voyages 2. It's a collection of short stories (a few poems/other things) written by ST fans. It's from, like, 1977 or something, so it deals only with TOS, but it's a GREAT read for any TOS fan. If you can find it, read it. The story "The Procrustean Petard" is especially interesting.
Anyway, I had only read the intro to the first story and the first couple pages before I had to stop.

Thursday I spent the day with Dad. Was gonna help him with some of his work, but he ended up not doing it. He has to wait until tomorrow. But I did help him get a rough estimate for a gutter cover job. So he should be doing that sometime in the next couple weeks. YAY!

Yesterday I spent all day reading. Finished New Voyages 2 and also read all of The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder. Not bad. Nice short book. Not too involved, but you do get to know the charachters. Next I plan to read Dubliners by James Joyce. When I dug it out, I found that I had already read the first piece in it (bookmark was at the second piece), but since I don't rememeber it, I'm going to start all over again.

Spent all day today (b/4 getting online at about 5:30) watching Star Trek TOS. Funny, last night I had a TOS dream. Don't really remember much of it. All I remember is that I was on the bridge and I heard Kirk say something about Corbomite. At first, today, I thought it was about the epi "The Corbomite Maneuver", but when that epi came on today, I realized that I had clearly seen Checkov sitting at Navigation and he wasn't a part of the crew of The Enterprise yet during that epi. I also remember there being some discussion of trying to maneuver out of firing range of some other ship, so maybe seeing that TCM was going to be on the night before, my brain decided to make it a physical strategic maneuver. I just wish I could remember the rest of it.

I want another ST dream. Or maybe a M*A*S*H dream. That would be nice.

( and onto the quizzes... )